“If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.”
This quote from Greg McKeown (author of the popular book Essentialism) is unfortunate but true. Life is full of external forces that will push and pull us along if we don’t counteract them. The scary thing about many of these “external forces” is that because they often operate in the background of our lives, it’s easy to overlook their influence.
One example of this is the subtle but meaningful role that identity plays in directing behavior. In behavioral psychology, studies have found that the identities that we consciously (or subconsciously) take on have surprising effects on our ability to act on desired behaviors.
Here’s an example: Consider a recovering alcoholic that’s offered a drink at a social event but is trying his best to reject it. One response the recovering alcoholic might use is, “No thank you. I’m a recovering alcoholic trying my best not to drink.” A second response might be, “No thank you. I’m not a drinker.” Which of these two responses do you think the recovering alcoholic would find most success with?
What researchers repeatedly find in conducting behavioral studies of this kind is that responses like that of the second (the one stating, “I’m not a drinker”) tend to be more effective. The psychological explanation for this finding is that when an individual’s justification for a specific behavior is tied to an identity that that individual has taken on, their propensity to follow through on actions consistent with that identity increases. In the first response, “I’m a recovering alcoholic trying my best not to drink,” the struggling alcoholic has framed his response as if he’s still an alcoholic. But in the second response, “No thank you. I’m not a drinker,” the respondent has shed his old identity as an alcoholic and taken on a new one - one who’s abstinence is a fundamental part of who they now are.
I find these insights intriguing because they run counter to how most would assume identity formation works. It’s easy to see identity as a product of behavior. When you make working out a daily habit, you become fit. If you read regularly, you become intelligent. If you frequently give to the homeless, you become generous. Here, behaviors are the input and identity is the output. But, as was explained in the prior example, the reverse can also be true. The identities that we take on can actually drive our behavior.
The popular advice, “Fake it till you make it” is a good example of this. Here, the assertion is that if one first assumes their desired identity, then actions consistent with that identity will naturally follow.
This past weekend featherweight contender Max Holloway fought Alexander Volkanovski in a trilogy fight for the UFC title. Holloway, who had held the championship belt for an extended stretch before losing it to Volkanovski in their first fight, was recently asked by UFC’s Brett Okamoto if going into this fight he felt like a challenger or a champion. Holloway responded by saying, “I felt like a champion when I was 0 and 1 in the UFC. I felt like a champion when I was 3 and 3 in the UFC…ask my coaches. I talked about myself being a champion [since day 1] but that’s the attitude you need.”
More and more, I’m reminded that the identities we take on shape our lives in more ways than we know. The behaviors we enact. The internal self-talk we engage in. The way in which we perceive our position in social hierarchies. All of these are byproducts of the identities we assume. And yet, rarely do we evaluate whether or not our identities are pushing us in directions that we want to be pushed in. It is in each of our best interests to be thoughtful, cautious, and curious about how our identities are shaping us and even holding us back.
