If you were offered everything you could ever want in life (wealth, fame, power, etc.) right now, would you accept?
I think for most people the temptation to say, “yes” would be too strong to resist. But I’m also pretty confident that doing so would be a mistake. Let me explain.
First: How sure are you that satisfying your wants would improve your life?
When Will Smith was poor he used to tell himself, “If only I had more money, then my depression would go away,” and his desire for money motivated him to succeed. But when he became rich, Smith grew even more depressed. Because he learned money wasn’t the answer.
We humans suffer from a great delusion. Namely, we think we know what will make us happy. We say things like, “If only I had X, then my life would be great.” But statements like this are rarely true.
I think one reason “Know Thyself” is the greatest Delphic maxim is because so few do.
Second: Let’s assume that fulfilling your wishes would in fact make your life better. How well would you manage your newfound blessings?
Money. Relationships. Power. These aren’t things that can simply be enjoyed. Once earned, they must be maintained and managed.
The dangerous thing about accidental success is that you haven’t developed the skills to manage it. This is why the stardom of viral influencers is often short-lived. It’s why children of the ultra-rich rarely accomplish much. It’s why lottery winners end up broke.
Life seems to have an “order of operations''. Only once you’ve figured out a key insight can you advance to the next stage. Attempt to shortcut the process and you’ll find yourself even worse off than before.
Third: Suppose you did have everything you could want and you could manage it. What then? How do you go about living a fulfilling life?
In Joseph Campbell’s The Hero With A Thousand Faces (1949) Campbell articulates “The Hero’s Journey”, the stages one must endure to mature, transform, and ultimately lead a meaningful life.
People often think it’s the removal of suffering from their life that will make them happy (whether relational, psychological, or physical). But if you consider the fact that the people we admire most are those that have endured great suffering and become more because of it, it makes you reconsider the role that suffering should play in your life.
Charlie Munger once said, “The idea that life is a series of adversities and each one is an opportunity to behave well instead of badly is a very, very good idea.” I’m a fan of this view, and I actually think that rather than wanting to eliminate suffering, what the human soul actually craves is opportunities to suffer well.
A summary of this essay might simply be, “Be careful what you wish for.” I can imagine situations where getting exactly what you want might actually be good for you. (Ex: born into slavery and wanting freedom, stuck in poverty and wanting financial security, subject to dictatorial oppression and wanting to escape, etc.)
But if you’re reading this essay, chances are you have your safety, your freedom, and plenty of opportunities to suffer well. So you’re probably right where you need to be.
